Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Something to Talk About

This would be a lot funnier if it didn't happen every Monday night.

Tony pick up the clue phone. When you piss the shit out of me and The Onion, it might be time to stfu up.

I don't know that much about you Tony. So, you're a columnist. Anyone can write. Hell, Larry the Cable guy writes. But if you're a writer, why do you talk so much? It's like you need an editor for the inane stories you tell.

I just had to Google you, Tony to find your ugly mug on a pumpkin. You write for the Post? And they say there are no longer any standards for journalism. Wow, the paper that gave us Woodward & Bernstein lets you vomit all over a page now and then.

Like last night when you ejaculated this during the opening:

"Heath Shuler is a congressman and Gus Frerotte is still playing Football! It's phenomenal!!!"

Tony, you obviously have a little list of things that you think are funny. You keep this list close at hand. And you're going to inject these little bon mottes no matter what's going on in the game and no matter their relevancy, accuracy or levity. See that, Tony. It's called parallelism. Wow, I'm a writer!

All I know about you Tony is that you suck as an announcer, you never shut the hell up, you're annoying as hell and you do not belong on high def television. And Ron Jaworski wants to kick you in the balls during your opening "column."

Okay, I don't know that. But I'm willing to bet a lot of money it's true.

I don't know how the guys at Awful Announcing can stand trying to watch the games on Monday with the sound on just to try to capture all the stupid stuff you say. You're braver men than I, AA. Much braver.

See you next Monday, Tony. It's not like we have a choice you know. And you'd better thank your ESPN Overlords for that.

4 comments:

lostinutah said...

Actually, IMHO, MNF has pretty much sucked since John and Al started doing it. I can hardly watch anymore. And it used to be like church for me, it was something I did religiously (ha! I crack myself up) every week.

The only one I've seen this year is the Packers/Vikings game.

Karen said...

Yep. You got it right. All of it. Jaws wishes he would come to Philly so someone can push him into the Schuylkill River.

kapgar said...

I regularly listen to PTI: Pardon the Interruption on ESPN (listen because I podcast it), which is cohosted by Tony. He can be a little over the top, but I still enjoy him. As for MNF... I can't say I care. I never pay attention to the announcers anyway. Announcers annoy me so I tune them out. My wife's grandmother hates the Cubs TV announcers, so she turns the sound off on the TV and turns up the radio announcers that she loves and listens to them while watching the video on TV. Smart woman.

t2ed said...

Kap, we used to do the same thing with the announcers for the Tigers. We'd turn off the tv guys and listen to Ernie Harwell and Al Kaline. Great voices, knew everything about the team and the game. Ah, memories.