While he contemplates whether he'll ever get a job and why we're poisoning all his puppy pals, he suggests that I just feed him steak sandwiches while we wait for this whole pet food scare to blow over.
Our first tale comes from this morning when I was trying to go the bathroom. As I did my business without exclamations of "Good Boy" or "Potty Time," a wet black nose inched the bathroom door open. Soon I was looking at some hazel eyes looking back at me with interest.
"This is only fair," I said to Guiness the Wonder Dog. "After all, I've been watching you poop for three weeks."
Apparently, Guiness didn't think it was that funny as he just stared back at me.
Our second tale just happened. I had dropped The Hound at Pets Rule Your Life. He was getting groomed as he was smelling a bit doggy and his dreads were looking a bit unkempt.
They called to let me know that "Genius" was ready to be picked up. Who would name their dog Genius? We're talking about an animal that greets others of his species with a hearty anal sniff and would willingly spend the entire day licking himself. Yup, sounds like a genius to me. Maybe I'll start calling that store PetNotSoSmart.
In any event, Guinness the Wonder Dog is bathed and groomed and puffy. They even put one of those queer bandanas on him. I'll leave it on for Wife, but all the other dogs are going to make fun of him.
This is his cheesecake pose by the way. You can just see the lame bandana.
Down girls, he's neutered.