Showing posts with label Kornholio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kornholio. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Something to Talk About

This would be a lot funnier if it didn't happen every Monday night.

Tony pick up the clue phone. When you piss the shit out of me and The Onion, it might be time to stfu up.

I don't know that much about you Tony. So, you're a columnist. Anyone can write. Hell, Larry the Cable guy writes. But if you're a writer, why do you talk so much? It's like you need an editor for the inane stories you tell.

I just had to Google you, Tony to find your ugly mug on a pumpkin. You write for the Post? And they say there are no longer any standards for journalism. Wow, the paper that gave us Woodward & Bernstein lets you vomit all over a page now and then.

Like last night when you ejaculated this during the opening:

"Heath Shuler is a congressman and Gus Frerotte is still playing Football! It's phenomenal!!!"

Tony, you obviously have a little list of things that you think are funny. You keep this list close at hand. And you're going to inject these little bon mottes no matter what's going on in the game and no matter their relevancy, accuracy or levity. See that, Tony. It's called parallelism. Wow, I'm a writer!

All I know about you Tony is that you suck as an announcer, you never shut the hell up, you're annoying as hell and you do not belong on high def television. And Ron Jaworski wants to kick you in the balls during your opening "column."

Okay, I don't know that. But I'm willing to bet a lot of money it's true.

I don't know how the guys at Awful Announcing can stand trying to watch the games on Monday with the sound on just to try to capture all the stupid stuff you say. You're braver men than I, AA. Much braver.

See you next Monday, Tony. It's not like we have a choice you know. And you'd better thank your ESPN Overlords for that.