Friday, September 08, 2006

On Going To Market

#2 Going to Market

Okay, you should have at least some semblance of strategy about your main product--you. It should be written down, but if it's only in your head that's better than nothing. If your homework is incomplete, do not pass go, do not collect your date and go back and do a little thinking before venturing out into the man-filled wilderness.

The key to implementing the strategic marketing plan is positioning yourself into circumstances or events in which you have the ability to interact with single men. "Well, duh," you might be saying. It seems obvious, but it’s often overlooked. Go where the boys are. No, not the crappy George Hamilton movie. I can’t tell you the number of times someone says to me, “I went to Curves, the shoe store and the fabric store and I didn’t run into a single man anywhere.” Hello, McFly. You need to go to the places the men (and the buffalo) roam.

Your target market should naturally congregate at the following locations or event types:

  • Golf Courses
  • Sporting Events
  • Monster Truck Shows
  • Barber Shops
  • Hardware Stores
  • Stores specializing in meat products
  • Gun and/or knife shows
  • Book stores (but avoid the self help and human sexuality sections -- that smells of desperation)

You should also attempt to minimize any time spent at the following event types or locations which research has shown to be target market poor:

  • Craft Shows
  • Events involving children or Girl Scouts
  • Cross Stitch stores
  • Places with frilly things

Now you may be saying to yourself, “But I don’t like the type of men who go to The Jerky Hut.” That doesn’t matter. This isn’t just about meeting someone you want to date, it’s about making contacts who may know someone you want to date. Your girlfriends are dead to you. If they could have fixed you up already, it would have happened by now.

And don’t travel in packs of women. You're an attractive woman not a wolf for sweet baby jebus sake. Bringing the competition along with you will only make it harder to close the deal.

I know some folks swear by grocery stores. That never worked for me when I was single. Maybe it's because I was always in the snacks and beer aisle instead of produce fondling the suggestively-shaped squashes.

Some people swear by church. If that floats your boat, fine. But when there's tension in the pews, that can't be good. You don't want to get smote because you're casting lingering looks across the aisle when you ought to be paying attention to the preacher going on and on and on about fornication.

Okay, so far we know why someone would date you and we know where to go to find someone who might date you. Next week, actually getting that date.

Feel free to submit your questions, whining, rants or all of the above in the interim, kids.

4 comments:

Wicked H said...

So staying at home in the hermit phase wishing for Prince Charming to find me is not the way to go.

Okay, okay.......

Irish Red said...

Hehehe - note to self - stay away from "frilly things". thanks for the tip :)

snackiepoo said...

Awesome....as someone who IS married, I totally agree. Tech Conventions and Gaming Conventions are great too...yeah yeah, there are a lot of odd ducks at those things, but for every five people dressed in a costume is one man who is normal, makes some bank, uber swank and cool and actually gives a crap about women....like my husband. That's not where I met him, cause I knew nothing about gaming before meeting him but I have been to these things and seen some pretty hot and successful men, believe it or not.

Kate the Peon said...

Okay, so I always take you with a few grains of salt, but on a serious note...your recommendations for where to look for men? Suck.

How about some more realistic recommendations? I'm fed up with being single. At least, this week I am.