Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Bunny Hop

If you're in Phoenix, you may have already run afoul of these dastardly scofflaws. Yes, police are warning Phoenicians to be on the lookout for, wait for it, THE FLUFFY BUNNY CREW.
This gang is described as being "predominantly white suburban young people." Where do the stereotypes come from?
And the Fluffy Bunny Crew even brags about their exploits online aka web banging at social networking sites.
Well, if they're white and from the suburbs, maybe the cops should stake out the Abercrombie & Fitch. They could hide out in the back. You know, where A&F puts all the people they deem not pretty enough to work the floor.
Now I'll confess to having been a gang banger when I was younger. Luckily, I got out before things escalated. But we were into our colors (blue) and our knives (pocket). You probably ran into us. We wuz the B. Scoutz. We used to tag houses with their correct street numbers and were always ready for trouble. You could even say we were always prepared.




Luckily, Phoenix police have brought in a specialist on organized gangs, Detective E. Fudd, is pitching in on the case. But then you'd probably expect Detective Fudd to be where ever there's a Fluffy Bunny. And he'll be strapped.


Police have also noted a rise in other suburban, white gangs. Please be on the look out for:
  • Da Kare Bearz
  • Lil' R Ridin in da Hood
  • Pugnacious Prepsters
  • Didactic Debaters
  • Illin' Ivy Leaguers
  • Mad Plaidz
  • Soccer Suckaz
  • Future C.E.No You Diduntts
  • Trust Fund Bustin' Babiez
  • Barbarian Barristers
  • Illin' Legal Eagles
  • Lacrosse Me At Your Peril
  • Gang Golfers
  • Vixen Volvo-drivers

Luckily, at least these gangs aren't tied in with the rash of religious gangs.

Please feel free to be on the lookout in your area and report any other suspicious, suburban, white gang activity to this blog.

That is all.

3 comments:

[F]oxymoron said...

I hear these thugs are cornering the illegal X-box, Wii, and Playstation markets in Phoenix. This could explain the escalation in local violence.

Roxrocks said...

I spat all over my screen at your "gang banging" experiences with the Scouts! You are too funny!

foundinidaho said...

Gotta watch those Scouts...good thing Little Bit's changing troops.

I have an evil fluffy rabbit. I wonder what's she's organizing behind my back.