Friday, September 01, 2006

The Man Market

#1 Marketing to Men

So you want to meet a man? Well get over the whole mystery thing. You're not going to gaze across a crowded room (or even bar), lock eyes, hear violins (or Dream Weaver), rush into each others arms (or loins), lock lips and then start picking out China patterns. You aren't Princess Dianna, you don't want someone with ears that big and that didn't end will anyway.

Women, you need a plan. This may sound unromantic, but it works. Dates are just interviews with the threat of sex. You are your own little cottage industry in the global market of dating. You've got to get out there and network, evaluate the competition, know your market strengths (and weaknesses) and always be closing.

One of my older friends had her husband go gay on her. Not surprisingly, she wound up divorced, lonely, and needed some assistance in finding men. Toward that end, the following marketing plan was designed for her. I'm trusting you can also use it for your needs.

Your Key Messages:

I am single
I am fun to date.
If you can’t date me, you must know someone who can.

Obviously, I don't know you well enough to tell you what your other key messaging points should be. That would require an interview, voice of the customer analysis and more work than we have time for. As the Oracle said, "Know Thyself."

Why would a man want to spend time with you? Okay you gutterminds, why would a man want to spend more than 45 minutes with you?

Are you funny? Are you smart? Are you fun? Are you emotionally needy? Do you need three hours before you're ready to go anywhere? The answers to all these questions should not be yes. Why have men complimented you in the past? This should not be limited to physical attributes. Many men are simply looking for a good woman who appreciates a well run two-minute drill.

You should be able to articulate in two sentences or less what you bring to any possible relationship. This is known as the elevator speech and has to be short and to the point. Some examples include:

  • I have season tickets to [insert local sporting team here].
  • I love [insert ethnicity here] food too.
  • I clean my house naked.
  • I like going to comedy clubs.
  • Yes, these are real and they're quite spectacular.
  • Check out this tattoo and/or piercing.

Yours may be very different or you may steal leverage from the list above. I do not suggest going out and getting a piercing just because none of the others apply to you.


· Single Men (anywhere, but preferably within driving distance)

This is the key market. There is, however, some dispute about the best type of man. Some believe in Type A: smart, suave, verbally-gifted, funny in the mold of Cary Grant. Others argue that the opposite type of man is the best. Type B is the strong, silent type (perhaps with limited intellect) which can be manipulated (or trained) to meet expectations. While flannel is optional for the Type B man, an archetype is typically known as the “big-strapping mountain man.” As all men are merely bears with pants, there may be no actual difference between Type A man and Type B for the purpose of this strategy.

· Married Men

This is not an appropriate target market. Instead, married men should be relied upon only for possible referrals to the target market or for advance market information of possible new opportunities occurring either through divorce, death of a spouse or release from incarceration.

· Women

Like married men discussed more fully above, women are solely a source of possible referrals. You're desperate, but not desperate enough to actually switch sides. Despite that experimental phase at summer camp. Because of possible competition, however, other single women should not be relied upon as the sole supplier of possible referrals.

Key Messages by Audience:

Men – Single: Hi, it’s okay for you to ask me out.
Men – Married: Hi, don’t you have any single friends that I can date?
Women - Married: Hi, don’t you have any single friends that I can date?
Women – Single: Hi, do you have any ex-boyfriends who aren’t losers who I can date? Why aren’t you dating him anymore?

Please feel free to submit your questions if you'd like to try to steer this conversation toward something approaching usefulness. More useless advice to follow soon.


Wicked H said...

I do lots of things naked. I will advertise the house cleaning and report back.

Thanks for the tips.

Kim said...

So you're not supposed to go after the married ones? That explains a lot. At least I still have the ones that only have girlfriends.


angelatee said...

This marketing plan has come at the perfect time! I've recently decided to rebrand myself. Thank you! I've also forwarded to single friends.

Denae said...

I love your blog. I found it through Kate The Great's blog. Will be checking in again soon. Thoughts on internet dating?

Swistle said...

I can't believe you covered only Type A and Type B. What about Type C: computer geeks? Smart and funny but not suave or verbally gifted.

Onknees (not_onknees at the moment) said...

Bwaahaahaaaa.....why didn't I read your blog sooner? i could have found a man WITH a toolbox.....