Sunday, October 19, 2008

I'm So Distracted And I Just Can't Hide It

[F]oxymoron, sporting pictures of a one legged pigeon, tagged/distracted me. And like any good corporate drone, I do precisely what I'm told. No more, no less. No good. Wait. Nevermind.

Let's get on with the exercise in distraction. It's the Rule of 7. Seven random things about yours truly. Try to stay awake. I'm my least favorite subject as the story of my life, surprisingly, is based upon a true story. The characterization sucks though. Hey, what do you expect from an episode of the Red Shoe Diaries?

1. I have a healthy obsession with office supplies and have the ability to blow a lunch hour at an Office Max like that. I own more Sharpies than anyone I know. Big ones, fat ones, small ones. I can't get enough.

2. I can cook. Really cook. I decided when I was single that I didn't like eating crummy food. So I learned. And I probably have over 200 cookbooks now. So many that I won't buy another one. I do all the cooking for the Wife and I. She doesn't complain even when I dirty seemingly every dish in the house making lasagna with smoked sausage.

3. I know more worthless movie trivia than anyone I know. Not useful stuff like naming all the Hitchcock movies or discerning the differences between Fellini and Kurasawa. Worthless stuff. Like the lead's actresses' name in Just One of the Guys or which Sixteen Candles star also was in Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone. Nothing useful. Just clutter in my head. Oh, Joyce Hyser and Molly Ringwald. It's a gift.

4. I'm a morning person. Seriously, I rarely sleep past 5:30 am. Even on weekends. So I dogwalk, kill on the Xbox, write posts, read the interwebs papers and otherwise waste time while I'm the only one in the entire world awake. Oh, and once I wake up, I can't ever go back to sleep. I wake up like a Nam survivor with flashbacks. From unconscious to wide awake.

5. I'm an ex-lawyer. Really, I reformed when I found Jesus. Okay, really, clients are super-annoying. I liked 3% of it (the arguing in court and engaging in legalistic tonguefoolery) and hated 97% of it (the clients). So I stopped.

6. My most significant Brush With Greatness was meeting Michael Palin in Northern Michigan while he was filming a BBC special about Ernest Hemingway. As I had just finished reading his book, Hemingway's Chair, it was somewhat spooky. I did not expect to bump into a member of Monty Python at the Best Western in Petoskey, Michigan. I also refute that I ran across the parking lot yelling, "Mr. Palin, Mr. Palin" at the top of my lungs despite the Wife's recollection.

When we later ran into him at dinner (it's a small town) he came over to say hello under less odd circumstances. I asked if he was stalking us and actually made him laugh.

7. My favorite sport is college basketball. Maybe because I went to Michigan State. Magic Johnson is an alum you may have heard of. Maybe because they have an actual playoff that is the best sporting event in the world. Much nicer than asking media types to just vote on who they think is the best. I'm talking to you BCS.

Now I'm supposed to tag 7.

Here they be: Reinging Frog, Kimmay, Wicked H, Kit Kat, Arjewtino, BAMF, and Miss Kris.

Hey, blame [F]oxymoron, not me.


Wicked H said...

Admit it, you are simply nosey! You and the pups have probably been napping on and off all weekend.

This was fun!

Call the Dog Whisperer already!!!

Roxrocks said...

I also have an unhealthy Sharpie fetish. I'm hoping it will somehow lead me to David Beckham.

You used to be a lawyer?!

YOU COOK?!!!! Do you bake though? Because any man can slap some bacon in a pan and call it dinner but can you make a pan of squares? If so, your wife is the luckiest woman in the world.

[F]oxymoron said...

Citizenship aside, next time you meet Mr. Palin, tell him nobody would mind, or notice the difference, if he hoped on the VP ticket.

You’ve got laughs.

GreenCanary said...

I love me some office supplies. Mmmmm... Sharpies and dividers and rubber bands, oh my!