Friday, October 24, 2008

On Costuming

Ladies, you're officially on notice. National Dress Like a Hoor (that's two syllables by the way) Day is only a week away. You may know it as Halloween. You get to dress like a slut and no other girl can say anything about it. That's not just me talking. It's from Mean Girls. And since Tina Fey wrote that and may be our next Vice President, it must be true.

So go nuts.

With the right costume people at work may not even know who you are. One of my friends dressed as a cow and got away with walking up to CEO with a baby cow doll and said, "This is your baby." She had the baby cow doll, not the CEO. Of course he might not have known her even if she hadn't been dressed up as a cow but that's not the point.

You get a free pass. You can completely dress like a slut and no one can penalize you for it. You know that dress you think is just a little too tight. Wear it. Don't even think about propriety. Release your inner stripper.

You don't even have to be creative. Just put "naughty" in front of any profession and you've got a costume. Naughty Nurse, Naughty Accountant, Naughty Actuary. Naughty Researcher. Naughty Medical Billing Assistant. Naughty Nun. It doesn't have to make sense. Just be daring.

Sure you have enough sense not to dress like this any other day of the year. But this isn't any other day of the year. This is the day you get to be a little daring, show off the goods and maybe actually even talk to that cute boy down the hall. Because he's going to be dressed like a woman today. Try not to make too much of the latent homosexuality. You can get him to come around. As far as you know.

Now get working on your costume. And if you're lucky, you'll be able to score a glow in the dark kitty to complete the ensemble.



Kitties, they're the ultimate fashion accessory.

8 comments:

[F]oxymoron said...

Ladies, ladies... t2ed's wise words should be taken to heart... let out that inner stripper. And don't forget the other holidays too - Xmas, Easter, Rosh Hashanah, etc...

Skyzi said...

I totally just had this discussion with a friend. She asked me if I was going to dress up for a kids Halloween party that we are going to. I told her I couldn't because all of my costumes from recent years are too slutty.

I've decided that I am going to think that is funny instead of sad.

Roxrocks said...

I noticed the same thing last week when shopping for a costume for my kid, "Naughty" this and "Naughty" that.

I'm going to dress up as a Nudist on Strike.

kitkat said...

The last several Halloween parties I've gone to were related to my husband's work, so I didn't dare dress like a slut. I almost went as a kinda slutty Rainbow Brite a couple years ago, but it's just too darn cold to be a slut for Halloween up here.

I used to think that the whole free, dress-like-a-slut pass at Halloween was for stupid girls who had "daddy" issues, but I think it's much more along the lines of Carnivale and Mardi Gras now. Role reversal and all that. We just don't have Lent following it, so there's no repenting.

The Pumpernickel said...

is it just me, or does that cat seem to be in some sort of pain?

at the very least, that's not the meowing of a happy cat...

http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com

foundinidaho said...

I have to lost some weight before my inner stripper comes out. Just sayin'....

kris said...

HEY BOYS! I'm a naughty kitty limb amputator. Hope I have a leg up on the competition! *naughty schoolgirl giggle*

being purple... said...

One Haloween I was a Biker's Girl and another I was the Statue of Liberty. Very breezy. Both costumes.

:)