A lot people are wondering, "Why now?" After all that she has accomplished in her distinguished
Luckily, after going through Pambo's garbage and watching a certain video with a certain former member of Motley Crue many, many, many times, I know the real reason Pam decided to go red, white and blown.
10) Hockey games were just too darn cold for flashing
9) All her social diseases now count against US data
8) Implants recently became elective under Canadian socialized medicine
7) Fleeing notoriety after VIP got syndicated in Ontario
6) She thought becoming a citizen also meant she got a free watch
5) Complicated Canadian legal system does not allow two month marriages
4) Train wreck reality series only offered to American sluts thank you very much
3) She thought "lobbying Congress" for animal rights meant doing it in a hotel lobby
2) Appreciates tough US anti-piracy laws after 3 copies of Barb Wire were downloaded illegally
1) Her vote now counts as much as yours
Oh, Pambo. I kid because I care. I'm sure despite your busy schedule you'll be able to get in two more hastily-arranged marriage and divorces before the year is over. Welcome to our melting pot, Pam. I just hope someone explains to her what "blowing stuff up" means before July 4th. This could go horribly wrong if she gets her hands on a roman candle.
And in true White Trash America fashion, Pam is having a garage sale this weekend. Ah, the garage sale. Where people come to buy things that other people are too lazy to just throw away.
Now, I've got to start driving so I can get to SoCal in time to bid on Pam's copy of Hungry, Hungry Hippos. You know she loves any game that involves eating balls.