Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Blow Me a Kiss

It's been announced by the office of the MLB Commish, Bud "Lite" Selig, that there will be no discipline of the Chicago White Sox for displaying two inflatable sex dolls in their clubhouse during this past weekend's series against the Toronto Blew Jays. Sorry, Blue Jays.

Cereal, I'm not making this up.

The General Manager of the White Sox, Ken Williams said:

I will assure Major League Baseball that the doll was not violated in any way, shape or form.

Of course, because Kenny boy only talks about one doll in his "apology." Clearly, by implication, the other doll was soundly rogered by randy White Sox players. During orgies, team members must remain in the batting order.

The White Sox lost all four of those games in Toronto btw.

Now I don't know why two inflatable sex dolls were on display in a major league team's clubhouse. Actually, I probably do, but I don't want to. I'm pretty sure it was a prank and not just a way for the team to, ummm, relieve a little stress over their most recent losing streak.

But because of my deep seated respect for women and because I actually penned a post about Moms and Dads having sex just in time for Mother's Day, I will not make any of the following baseball related comments about inflatable sex dolls and play by play commentary.
  • He got some good wood on that one.
  • He's giving a hundred and ten percent.
  • This one looks like it's got the distance.
  • Going, going, gone.
  • No pepper.
  • That's a double play ball.
  • He really needs to bear down here with someone on first.
  • It looks like the ump is checking for a foreign substance on the ball.
  • He loves to hit with men on.
  • Here comes the closer.
  • There's a shot to the hot corner.
  • That was a bang bang play. Let's take a look at the replay.
  • Time for the seventh inning stretch.
  • Here comes the grounds crew with the tarp.
  • There's the old chin music.
  • That's one gets into the upper deck.

I know, that's what she said. But like I said, I'm not going to make any of those jokes. You're on your own kids.

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