Monday, May 05, 2008

She's Having My Baby

Mom's Day is less than a week away. So it's to bust out the flowers and the denial and remember that Mom loves all of you equally. Even if she does unfairly favor your younger sibling all the time.

Bless you Paul & Storm for giving us this:

Mother’s Day is here
Everyone give a cheer
For the ladies that we call
Mother dear.

I tried to find a card
But you know it’s really hard
To find the one that captures
All the love that’s in my heart.

And so instead
I’m writing you this poem
Because I am so
Grateful to you Mom.

So I say.....

Thanks for having intercourse with Dad
Without a condom, sponge or IUD
Your lack of objection
To sex without protection
Made a sperm and egg
Turn into me.

You gave me life, love
A home and clothing everyday
I gave you stretch marks and extra weight
That never quite went away

I mean it
Thanks for having intercourse with Dad
The carnal act that brought me
Here to you, doodley do

I don’t know if it was varied
Or merely missionaried
But it sure was good for me
Was it for you?

I’m elated that you mated
Your love you consummated
You got inseminated
Then waited and inflated
Inside you I gestated
Until from your womb I cascaded

Thank you Mom
For doing my Dad
I’m so glad that he had you
Thanks for doing my Dad.

3 comments:

heartinhand said...

That's the craziest thing I've ever read.

Since I've now pictured my parents naked, I'm going to go bleach my eyeballs.

Sleepless in Seattle said...

My kids are both teenagers now, and I'm sure they're in denial how they came to be. I'm the youngest (and favorite) and my dad always tried to convince me they had only been together 4 times (4 kids).

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Skyzi said...

I am forwarding this to my mother immediately....that is wrong (in a good way)!