Friday, May 30, 2008

That's Supposed to Be A White Flag

Oh, Canada. I don't mean that in the national anthem sort of Oh, Canada, but rather you're our awesome neighbor to the North sort of way.

The Panties for Peace campaign is asking women to send their panties to the Myanmar embassy in Ottowa. And because I am such an advocate for world peace, here's their address:

903-85 Range Road
Ottawa, ON K1N 8J6

I'm not making this up. It's even in a real paper.

Quote of the Story: The campaign plays off regional superstitions that contact with women's panties can sap a man's power.

Now, I don't want to rain on the parade and get these panties all wet, but I don't think that phenomenon is limited to Myanmar. Sure the Myanmarites (Myanmarmmaries? Myanmarnaughts? Myanmaryouandadognamedboo?) may be a bloodthirsty, milaristic junta whose leaders delayed international aid to their own people just so they could put their names on the boxes and try to take credit for it, but we may be selling them short. They've convinced women to give them their panties by pretending to be afraid of them.

I'd like to officially go on record that I am browbeaten by bras, terrified by teddies, unnerved by underwires, intimidated by intimates, bullied by bustiers, claustrophobic from the Cleavacious, paralyzed by push-ups and threatened by thongs.

Many people realize that Myanmar is the new name for Burma which was where shaving cream advertising was invented. Most people don't know, however, that Myanmar is Burmese for "You're doing a heckuva job, Brownie."

Now I gotta run because I'm hoping to get the Wife to sap my power a couple of times this weekend. Have a good one, kids.


Dani said...

Great ideas like this just give me more reason to pack up my panties and move to Canada.

Good luck with the power sapping (that just sounds dirty).

I'm off to find someones power in which to sap. :-)

heartinhand said...

I'm speechless.
-Canadian Blogger

kris said...

Fried chicken and panties in the span of two days. Finger lickin' good blogging.