Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Fly Like An Eagle

Reason #378 why Utah Rocks:

We gots Falcons. Nesting in our downtown office buildings. Bet they don't have this in Hotlanta.

And you can watch them on Falconcam. Which is much better than watching this on any cam.

You can even join the Salt Lake City Peregrine Falcon Watchpost Team (and wouldn't that look sweet on a resume and/or t-shirt) where you can "spot, chase & rescue the young falcons." Man, I can't wait to go Falcon chasing.

Seriously, all you need to do to sign up is be a lot more serious about this than I am and send an email to Bob Walters at Or you can even pester him more directly at (801) 538-4771. I'm sure Bob appreciates all the help I'm giving him.

You don't need any experience to volunteer. You only need binoculars, leather gloves, a flimsy towel (to drop upon a downed bird and because of a Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy), a water bottle and sunscreen. Oh, and a high pain threshold doesn't hurt either for when Momma Falcon thinks you're trying to smother her baby with a flimsy towel. And when you find out just how flimsy that towel is compared to angry Momma Falcon talons.

The volunteers also help answer questions from pedestrians. I really, really hope I get that job. Because of my vast experience in customer service, media relations and people asking dumb questions, that's really my wheelhouse. I can only imagine some of the questions you get when you're standing on the corner of a busy thoroughfare wearing your leather gloves and peering upward through some binoculars.

"What you looking at?"
  • Pterodactyls
  • Mutant Pigeons
  • Gargoyles
  • Rocs
  • Harpies
  • Raptors
  • Dragons
  • Condors
  • Fish Tracks
  • Hippogriffs
And you know other people are going to stop to see the raptors, gargoyles and mutant pigeons. too.

I can't wait for the young falconettes to hatch. First, they eat pigeons. Everyone has to love that. Second, they also carry off small children who are left unattended downtown. I just hope they carry off the ones that seem to be frequenting the same restaurants as me.


kris said...

I think you may have meant 3.78. 378 seems a little steep.

Dunebuggy said...

Will the binoculars guard against the droppings?

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