Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Ecuador Is Lovely This Time of Year

Ecuador is working on a new constitution. I think the old one got misplaced. Don’t you hate when that happens?

Anyhoo, in an effort to increase tourism (and get her name in a lot of snarky blog posts), Maria Soledad Vela had a swell idea: making the pursuit of sexual happiness a constitutional right for women.

Now that’s a pretty adventurous idea when you think about all those great Ecuadorean (Ecuadillos?) Women’s Rights Advocates. Let see there’s…ummm, yeah, I’ll have to get back to you on that one. Ecuador as you may know is named after Ponce de Ecuador who had the idea to paint lines on the ground so men wouldn’t ever have to ask for directions.

I’d really like to help our with the Ecuadillyumptious Constitution. So here’s what I came up with:

We the pimps, in order to form a most freaky union, establish free love, insure domestic bliss, provide for the common hook up, promote the general happitude of our Womensfolk, and secure the blessing of multiple pleasurings and our weekends, do ordain and establish this Women’s Right to the Big O. And we’re not talking about Oscar Robertson if you know what I mean.

I can just see the “Life, Liberty and Booty” shirts being sold at the constitutional convention now.
And I’d like to officially sign up for the Ecauadoreangrey Guarranteed Assistance Sexual Minstry (EGASM). EGASM is going to do great things for that country. Or at the very least put it in a good mood for a couple of hours. I know how much happier I am after I get a visit from EGASM. In fact, EGASM is one of the main reasons people stay happily married. Without a visit from EGASM, you’re probably not doing it right. And if you’re not going to do it right, she’ll soon take matters into her own hands.

Critics of Ms. Vela’s bold idea for constitutional direction are quick to say she’s decreeing orgasm by law. And what’s wrong with an orgasm law? Personally, I like (really like actually) the thought of our legislators passing laws like this instead of thinking up other ways to screw us. When orgasms are required by law, only outlaws will have unhappy women. Or something like that. Seriously, if women are required to be sexually fulfilled, there’s a lot of guys going to be getting the chair.

Now I’ve got to hop on Expedia and book the Wife and I a trip to Quito.

1 comment:

kris said...

I like "Life, Libooty, and the Pursuit of Wackiness" for my shirt. Maybe a bumper sticker FOR MY CAT? Hmmmm.