Friday, November 09, 2007

Skip To My Lou Grant

Ladies, start your engines. The hunkiest hunk in Hollywood is back on the market. That's right, the cute, cuddly love machine, Mr. Edward Asner is going to be back on the market. His wife just filed for separation citing the omnipresent "irreconciable differences." This is Fast Eddie's 2nd trip down the aisle. Since the 3rd time is the charm, it's your change for a little rebound action with Mr. Grant, ladies.

Luckily, a trusted insider (as far as you know) told this reporter the Top Ten Reasons the Asners are separating:

10) His back hair keeps clogging the shower drain
9) Keeps trying to get her to have a threesome with Gavin MacLeod
8) His drunken ramblings about the comic genius of Ted Knight whenever Caddyshack is on cable
7) Makes her polish all 7 of his Emmy's with a toothbrush
6) Always runs down Tim Allen's "ham-fisted" acting job in The Santa Clause
5) His inability to get over his tennis loss to Lola Falana the Battle of the Network Stars
4) Ernie Borgnine won't get off their couch
3) Big gambling losses to Gabe Kaplan in weekly poker game
2) Insists she calls him Mr. Grant during all pillow talk
1) Swears he could still perform high wire routine for a modern Circus of the Stars

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