This Week's Episode

Well the initial ratings for Parrot Trooper were really good. We got a 7.6 share with a majority of 18 to 49 year olds and won our time slot against MILF Island and Colonoscopies with the Stars. I don't know what any of those numbers or terms means, but it means our interns get to keep having sex with the network president but we still have to kiss a lot of executive ass.

We keep getting "notes" which we file away for when we need to start selling stuff on eBay to support our Precious Moments habit. Notes are supposed to be the higher ups polite way of telling you what to do. My agent and co-conspirator said that as long as we win our time slot we can tell them to get bent.

This week it's the typical hi-jinks.

• Bob invents the Smart Brush and lets me sell it to Microsoft who comes up with a way to input all your teeth data into an excel spread sheet that automatically gets sent to your dentist so she can see how long you really brush and not just when you do it for a half hour until your gums bleed right before an appointment.
• Tony pays back a debt with a Lotto ticket that turns out to be worth $150,000
• Tony tries to frame me for illegally stealing electricity but after spending the night in jail next to Paris, she finds Jesus and accidentally gives Tony an STD when he steals her toothbrush for his celebrity toothbrush collection.
• All the pro football players I meet during my night in the joint come over for a game of touch football with Muggsy and me.
• Muggsy and I hang out with some of the cheerleaders who tag along while Tony stews inside of his protective bubble.