Shake Rattle and Roll

If you're lucky enough to be near Chicago today, hope you're having fun. Because it's Talk Like Shakespeare Day. I'm sure this won't get old at all. Just like Talking Like a Pirate.

I know, it always sneaks up on you. Barely time enough to buy all the presents and get the tree up. Make sure you take the time out to take the kids to the parade and sit on Bill's lap. Some traditions have to endure. Just like the Dude.

Luckily, Chicago has everything else taken care of so they can go ahead and focus on Sweet William's words of wisdom. Which probably means that the Bleacher Creatures will be chanting "Thou Sucketh" to the opposing team at Wrigley.

Granted most everyone knows about Shakespeare is what they learned from the musical Hamlet episode of Gilligan's Island or Atomic Shakespeare on Moonlighting. But some of us were lucky enough to get the Bard shoved down our throats quite a bit. That only sounds dirty. But it comes in handy all the time.

Can you imagine anything more romantic than getting down on a knee, pulling out one of those flashy engagement rings and using a couplet or three to propose to your prospective proposee?

Canst thou seeth love in my life
If thou consent to be my wife?
If problems come, twill not matter
Ere we stay in iambic pentameter.

I'm telling you guys, Niagra Falls. And the Canadian side, where it looks bigger.

So when someone cuts you off today on the Dan Ryan, don't give them the finger. Simply roll down the window and give them a Shakespearean Insult:

"Thou ungrateful Turk! Thou whey faced loon!"

Enjoy the day, kids.

Hope you're not one of those ancillary characters who gets stuck with all the exposition.