I'm a Slave 4U

Sorry about the weak Brittney Spears title kids. I'm at a loss for any music with Master in it. And I didn't think the I Dream of Jeannie theme counted.

That's what you get for picking a topic like the St. Xavier's online Master of Arts in Curriculum and Instruction to write about.

I know. I should know better. But that's why I'm up to the challenge. I'm able to make any subject into an inappropriate joke. And not just about breasticles. Yes, it's both a gift and a curse.

Now I'm not Catholic. But I do like drinking and Bingo. A great game that combines the all the excitement of the lottery with smoking and frustration.

But the MS Curriculum is legit. Not like Bagpipe Hero. As far as you know.

The online Master of Arts in Curriculum and Instruction gets you ready for continued development as a master teacher in schools or other instructional institutions. No word on whether they also give you a whip. Personally, I always thought the most important part of being a teacher was excellent peripheral vision. Key components of this program include focus on literacy, diversity, integration of technology and an interdisciplinary perspective in education.

Luckily, I don't have to worry about people ever leaving their children with me for education about the way the world really works. Because I'll do things like wander the toy aisle and look at the guns and loudly declare:

I'll bet with a gun like that I could shoot my Sister right in the eye. And if anybody tried to tell me I couldn't have a gun, I'd yell as loud and as long as I could until they finally bought it for me.

Yeah, I'm helpful like that.

Also not making a single bit of that up.

But if you don't want your urchins educated about how to win ambulance rides and influence parents, you probably shouldn't let them wander around Target alone.

And you can also thank me for when he draws a moustache on Daddy whilst he's napping.

I really thought the best part of having a kid was getting to take him or her to a baseball game and fill them to the brim with warm orange soda and cotton candy. Then when they fall asleep in the car on the way home, you get to carry them into the house while their head wobbles all over the place.

That and training them to bring you beer without shaking the bottle up. Because once they learn what shaking a beer up does to you, it's pretty much over.