Sunday, April 19, 2009

Ramblin' Gamblin' Man

It's Vegas, baby. Yes, my crazy cousin and I are meeting up in Sin City for a few days.

To make sure we can stand each other, he's taking golf lessons while I'm lounging at the pool.

And hopefully not the swim up black jack tables. Watch those guys playing some time. Notice how they never take a break. Ewww. Guess that explains why the water is so warm.

I'll probably just take all my money and put in on the Lions to win the Super Bowl. That's sure to be some long odds. Which also aren't long enough no matter how high they are.

The key to gambling in Vegas is to take Lewis Black's advice. Get a roll of quarters and go up to your hotel room. Open the quarters and start flushing them one at a time down your toilet. When it finally backs up, you're a winner.

Personally, I like to either imitate Vegas Vic's arm motion while yelling "Lose your money here" immediately upon entering a casino. That or yell "Listen to all those winners." But since they've replaced the coins with slips of paper, casinos don't have the same auditory ambiance that they used to.
Now pity me the 5 hour drive across the Utah desert. At least we're done with the snow for now. But I'm still taking my scraper.
Later, kids.

5 comments:

foundinidaho said...

I don't pity you the 5 hour drive TO Vegas. It's the 5 hour drive BACK that was hellish for me.

[F]oxymoron said...

... wonders if it is possible to live blog losing hundreds of dollars in a casino....

Roxrocks said...

Have fun! Seek out the unusual, then you'll have something cool to blog about when you return! Not that your blog entries aren't cool...never mind, just have fun and don't kill any hookers on the bathrobe hook and try to bury them in the desert. Seriously, it's been done.

Dani said...

Good luck with the drive. I've made it twice in the past two weeks.

Guess what? No new tattoos and I have all my shoes.

That's what you call winning in Vegas.

Make me proud.

kris said...

People actually drive to Vegas? I didn't know there were highways there. I always figured people came by aeroplane or mothership.

Neither here nor there. Enjoy the trip and try to keep your neck free from tigers.