Monday, February 09, 2009

Stars Are Blind

I'm not sure why some people are famous.

It seems like people confuse fame with importance. A comedian once said famous people do commercials. Important people won't. (I think that was Scott Dunn but can't remember).

We used to have Zsa Zsa Gabor and George Hamilton. Zsa Zsa wasn't even in Green Acres. That was Eva. And other than Zorro the Gay Blade, I'm not sure what Georgie Boy did other than bring the tan to Hollywood.

Now we have Paris Hilton. And her wonderful music. Warning, the prior link may cause severe auditory damage.

But I think Paris may be back on the diet pills. Because she's also started a foray into scrapbooking. I'm not making this up.

The former Simple Life "star" has a line of scrapbooking, jewelry and fashion kits that were on display at a recent Craft and Hobby Association Trade Show. Wooky Entertainment from Canada has the full press release available at their site. Line of the release?

Paris' Creativity Collection was "conceived for sophisticated and savvy young ladies in search of trend and prestige." Wow, that's the epitome of the straight face test.

According to the article I read while attempting to keep from spewing my bacon all over the table in laughter, currently the kits are only available in Canada and part of Europe. Oh, you lucky Canadians!

Now far be it from me to tell a prestigious Canadian scrapbooking company whom they should base their new product line. But Paris brings a very unique perspective to any scrapbook about her life.

You'll want to be sure to include all of the following in your Paris Hilton scrapbook:
  • First Reality TV Show
  • First Failed Reality TV Show
  • First Sex Tape
  • First Sex Tape where you look bored
  • First Mugshot
  • First Media gaffe revealing your ignorance (Gordon Ramsay isn't the Prime Minister? Well, he should be.)
  • First Vodka bottle
  • Pictures of first party you're paid to attend
  • First Love (just pictures of Paris)
  • First accessory pet

I'm sure there are plenty of other things that go into a scrapbook. Luckily, I have no idea what those are. Chime in peeps.


[F]oxymoron said...

First annoying, completely inane catchphrase endlessly repeated during interviews... be sure to use pink, bubbly letters

Anonymous said...

Sorry, can't comment, I'm too busy searching for "trend and prestige." Lame.

First hair extension?
First fake tan?
First "frenemy"

Anonymous said...
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foundinidaho said...

George Hamilton was in "Love at First Bite" with Susan St. James. It's a killer movie! Are you sure you're my age?

I hate Paris Hilton. Though, thanks to my 17 year old, I have "Stars are Blind" on my IPod. Yegads.

Dani said...

First fake information leak?

First public apology?


Oh. Em. Gee. Scrapbooking is like the best idea EVER!!

...Now who do I pay to like tape all this shit down?

Roxrocks said...

I just want to reassure you that as a Canadian and a scrapbooker, I will NOT be using the Paris Hilton line of scrapbooking supplies. And it's not just because I'm scared I'll get VD...

Paris Hilton. Funny the word "Skanky" wasn't used in the promo.

Christian said...

First facial.
First F on a report card.
First public photo of dangling genitalia.
Photo of something earned as a result of skill or hard work (page still blank).