Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Puff the Magic Dragon

By now, unless you're still in your post-Super Bowl funk, you've probably seen the picture of Michael Phelps hitting what the mainstream media is terming "a pipe associated with marijuana." Geez, people. It's a bong. You can say it. It's not like we're talking about sex in a grown up fashion or anything. Those words are still a no no.

As an aside, I'm too lazy to find that picture, steal leverage it, and post it here. Deal with it, pinkbellies. You'll have to make due with a link if you need to gaze upon it again.

I don't really get the furor over this. Wow, a 23 year old smoked dope at a South Carolina University party. How long has this been going on? The hallowed academic institution which gave us Hootie and the Blowfish and the Gamecocks has some hijinx going on there. Stop the presses.

The real story is whomever took the picture and ratted him out. I love the quote: If he continues to party like that, I'd be amazed if he won any more medals again." Yeah, maybe he can rest his head on the 14 he already has. Oh, and the big pile of money he's warned from his endorsements. It's not like Mikey isn't famous enough to just call up and ask for New York Yankees tickets and not score them. Or anything else he wants. Even if that is apparently just a Carolina co-ed.

Personally, I hope this gets some people off the fence about marijuana. I don't indulge, but I've known others who do. Like the Disney animators who did Fantasia. And if you can be an amazing athlete and hit the BC bud every now and then, who am I to tell you what to do. Maybe this will be the impetus to legalize it, tax it and get us out of the economic doldrums. At the very least it would spur sales of Twinkies.

Anyway, here's your list.

Top 10 captions for the Michael Phelps Bong Picture:

10) And you thought he only breathed water.
9) If I had to spend 8 hours in a pool all day, I'd be getting high too.
8) Is that a bong in your Speedo or are you just happy to see me?
7) Someone better warn the Olympic Snowboarding athletes.
6) I'm going to be on the box of Weed-Eze.
5) This explains the Guitar Hero commercial.
4) That apology his publicist wrote seemed very sincere.
3) I'm very, very sorry....I got caught.
2) Now we know how he was able to eat all that food during his training.
1) Dude, where's my medal?

Seriously, who's worked up about this?

Now I've got to get working on my Official Michael Phelps Breathe Right Training Bong. Look for it wherever hastily constructed products are sold.


Roxrocks said...

Is that a bong in your Speedo...


I laughed. I peed. I laughed some more.

kapgar said...

I voted for a guy to run our country who had admitted to cocaine use. Nah, I'm not particularly concerned with Phelps' bong hits.

foundinidaho said...

As the mother of young boys, I am a little disappointed that he's so visible with this, but then again, in this day and age, what did he expect? He's also an adult, which mitigates any judgement I might have on him.

That said, he got busted for DUI when he was what, 17? I didn't think he'd mended his ways much.

Funny list, by the way.