Friday, September 05, 2008

Pour Some Sugar On Me

If you're a young woman travelling in Plymouth, England, you may want to bring some Oreos with you.

It seems a gang of six young toughs, surrounded a woman walking at night. Then the rapscallions poured 16 pints of milk on her.

This had to be a crime of premeditation, you're not just walking around with your mates at 3:30 in the morning and just happen to be carrying 16 pints of milk. This gang had to go get the milk and then look for a woman to pour it on.

I don't want to get all psychological on ya'll. But what images do you think it conjures up when a gang of men are pouring a white liquid all over an unsuspecting woman? Hmmm, Dr. Freud, you're tobacconist is on the phone about your cigar order. You don't have to have watched Gang Bang 6 twice to pick up on that symbolism.

And the pour woman is "understandably upset" according to the police. You could probably even say she's shaken. Her spirit is probably broken. No use crying though. That milk is spilt after all. I just hope this hooligans don't turn out to be cereal killers. Man I could milk this all day long. That's the way the cookie crumbles though. Now I'm going to go listen to some Edgar Winter Group.

See I have to bold all the bad puns or some of the slower kids miss them.

5 comments:

kris said...

I will refrain from beating you upside the head. Ahat.

Kate said...

Milk it for all it's worth. I couldn't do it. I'm not that punny.

Roxrocks said...

She was walking home by herself at 3:30 in the morning? Poor thing. If she would have went home with the guy who was trying to pick her up in the bar, she might have avoided this entire situation.

Skyzi said...

This is the sound of my hand smacking my forehead.

Meg said...

Do you think she cried? You know...after all that milk was spilt.
Maybe they were angry lactose intolerant kids. Pent up violence from years of missing out on ice cream sundaes and milkshakes.