Thursday, September 04, 2008

The Best Mousepad Ever

I'm sure every man on your shopping list is going to want one of these.

Yup, boobie mousepads. You get to rest your wrist right in the valley of cleavage. No idea who those characters are. Must be goofy anime stuff from far over the seas.

I'm sure your boss will be so impressed. As will the HR representative with whom you'll eventually be having a private meeting. Which will be noted in your permanent file.

You could also probably take this the other direction. Make those two little wrist rests at the bottom into one larger one. How about the Tommy Lee mousepad? Yeah, if you're going to put your hands on the Tommy Lee Mousepad, you might want to wear a rubber glove.

Or maybe the David Duchovny Sex Addiction Mousepad? Once you start using it, you just can't keep your hands off it.

And not to get off on a tangent here, but hang on a minute. Seriously, David? Sex Addiction? That's what you're going with? Yeah, it's not because you're so pretty you can turn most women into Niagra Falls just by looking at them and whispering "The Truth is in Here" while you do some tasteful pelvic thrusts in their general direction. It's an addiction. You're a victim. I'm never watching those Red Shoe Diary episodes again.

Back to the mousepads featuring Mount Porkasaurus. Just think if we could get any of the major sports to throw in for this. An entire line of NFL mousepads! I'm sure Peyton Manning would be a big seller. But really, the great white whale of them all would have to be the Brett Favre Mousepad. Just think how many women (and men) would pay to be resting their wrist on the oh so comfortable bulge of Brett. And given Brett's amazing powers, I'll bet any infertile woman who used the Brett Favre Mousepad would become pregnant. Pregnant with a future Packer Jet fan.

Who's mousepad would you like to see made?


Swistle said...

Well, OBV Angelina Jolie. And...let's see...Erin Brockovich, working girl.

Roxrocks said...

Johnny Depp. Or John Mayer. I don't care if it's the crook of their elbows or the crack of their asses. :)

[F]oxymoron said...

Hmmmm... Boob diversity is so amazing and beautiful that I fear I can't choose just one woman (or two)to represent this diversity.

No, no... I'm calling for an interactive, programmable, eco-friendly mouse pad that will continually rotate through images.

Dani said...

Anderson Cooper. Duh.

...or any long haird. I'd feel good about that, too.