I should have known something was up this year when they were loading Briggs and Riley luggage on the team bus instead of equipment bags.
Bless you, Mr. Letterman.
Top Ten Signs Your Baseball Team Isn't Ready for the New Season
10. Last night your designated hitter needed a designated driver
9. Manager only calls the bullpen to discuss "American Idol"
8. Instead of Gatorade, players cool down with gravy
7. Outfielders move around in motorized rascal scooters
6. Billy Crystal is your lead off hitter. Carol Channing bats second
5. Team is 1,000-to-1 to win the World Series, 2-to-1 to join the cast of "Hairspray"
4. Isiah Thomas predicts you'll go all the way
3. Skipped Spring training to follow Hannah Montana tour
2. Players are jamming things in their ass, but they ain't needles
1. Hillary Clinton says attending your games is worse than going to war in Bosnia