Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Lucky Star

If you haven't got right with the Lord, you may be surprised to know that The End is nigh, Moses is dead, and William Shatner has written a book. It's about his favorite subject, him. And it's titled, "Up Till Now."

Yeah, pretty underwhelming, nay craptacular.

Well unlike those hacks at FoxNews (I know, that's redumbdant), this reporter did some digging to find out the rejected names for Bill's big book. And by digging, I mean going through the garbage at St. Martin's Press. Paperless office, my ass!

But after some digging (lots & lots of digging), here are the Top Ten Rejected Titles for William Shatner's new book:

10) The Rug & I
9) Being an Asshat Really Isn't Acting
8) Vulcan Nerve Pinch This
7) Bid For This Advertising Space on Priceline.com
6) Where Many Drunk Women Have Gone Before
5) I've Made Out With James Spader
4) My Friend, My Girdle
3) Star Drek
2) Picard Can Suck It
1) Buy.....This......Book

And while this train wreck is sure to be full of lurid details like Mr. Spock's boozing and Sulu's gayness and DeForest Kelley's scene stealing, at least the Shatman ain't singing.

1 comment:

Sleepless in Seattle said...

Two things, maybe three.

*Cap'n Kirk's rendition of Rocket Man is downright painful. I think I lasted 30 seconds. It was nice to see Bernie do the intro, but I wonder if he's decided to lay low after that fiasco.

*The paper office: They took all that time to wrap the pens, pencils, & markers when all they had to do was fill the cup with tampons. They look the same, and would have saved a lot of trouble, and still have been funny.

Just don't mistake a paper wrapped pen for a tampon. Ouch!! That could give Sharpie a whole new meaning.

T, where do you come up with all this stuff? Do you even sleep?