She Drives Me Cuckoo

I've got my latest get rich quick scheme.

It's amazingly simple.

1) Buy some real estate in Bermuda
2) Corner the market on Coco Pops
3) Price gouge the hell out of the addicted Bermudians

Bermudites? Bermudies? Bermudists? That sounds like they've got a lot of au naturale beaches.

Anyway, Bermuda is now 4th fattest country in the world because of Coco Pops. At least that who Bermuda's health coordinator, Jennifer Attride-Stirling is making the scapegoat. And I always thought breakfast was the most important meal of the day. I'm sure it's not because the Honorable Ms. Attride-Stirling is just galivanting around the beaches of Bermuda in her swell shorts while stealing unsupecting ships and planes and not coordinating the health of her citizenry.

When did Coco Pops get rid of the bi-polar bird? There's some kind of monkey there now. I'd pass on anything in a bowl that was small, round and brown if a monkey gave it to me.

Is there a difference between Coco Pops and Coco Puffs? Or is this like one of those slick corporate tricks where they have Barbie and a rival company has a doll called Barbee that's spelled just slightly different enough to avoid expensive copyright litigation?

And if these Bermudists are hooked on chocolate-flavored breakfast cereals, Ms. Atride-Stirling better hope they never discover bacon.

I'd like to take my Canon Powershot camera down to Bermuda and snap a couple of action photos of corpulent Bermudists. I'm betting they can't compare to the people I can see at the fair every year. And that's just the line for elephant ears.