Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Check Those Chi Chi's

Hey, kids! October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The fine folks at Cleavacious actually have pink bras for sale this month and 5% of all proceeds go to the National Breast Cancer Foundation.

And things are going well enough for Inventor Extraordinaire Karey Weyenberg (who really got screwed by the Nobel Committee this year) that the Cleavacious is actually advertised in this month's O Magazine. I'm sure Karey just wanted to let me know because I'm such a big apprecianado (it's like aficionado but liking it a lot more)of her work.

But the most important part of this month is that you check yourself. Breast cancer is the most prevalent form of cancer in women. If you're not sure how to to a BSE (Breast Self Exam), there are plenty of online resources on the interwebs.

If you're not up to a self exam, ask a stranger. You won't need to shower them with lovely gifts like Skagen watches to get them to lend a hand. Or two. You'll be surprised how helpful some people are willing to be. In fact, I've got a drive thru window open all October that is being staffed with extremely helpful gentlemen who also have warm hands. I can't wait for Halloween and all the ladies who need exams come by dressed slutty up.

I think the only problem with having October be Breast Cancer Awareness Month is that the name doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. And let's face it, did you really think I was going to go a whole post without boob jokes? So here are some suggestions for a better name for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

  • Knocktober
  • Hooterween
  • Autumn Show Them More Often
  • Breastacula
  • Frankentitty Fest
  • Month of Mammaliciousness
  • Nippleriffic Night
  • All Hooter's Eve
  • Devil's Double D Night
  • Highbeam Harvest
  • Coco-tober
  • Bobbing for Love Apples
  • Tatatober
  • All Naturals Night

Feel free to play along at home, kids!


Reigning Frog said...

This reminds me of a story...

In the '90's I worked at a doctor's office on weekends. Breast cancer awareness people had just thought up the pink ribbon and all staff were asked to wear one. A man came in and asked me what my pink ribbon meant. I was busy and flustered, and said, "Oh, it's a symbol for breast awareness" to which the man replied "Believe me, honey, we're aware." I almost peed my pants laughing.

I feel like you could take the words "cornucopia" and "harvest" and come up with some more of these.

Cincinatti said...

How about "Oktoberbreast" for our German friends.