Pirates v. Zombies

I don't know what's going on in Minneapolis. I'm not sure I want to know. While I still haven't heard about my pending candidacy as the State's Poet Laureate, it's a lock. And because I don't really know anything about Minnesota that I haven't learned from watching Vikings games, my homework has begun.

Apparently, some folks in the Twin Cities like dressing up like Zombies and Pirates and then hitting the bars. I didn't see any Zombie Pirates, but that would have been a nice touch to try to bring a rapprochement to the two groups. Because if Zombies and Pirates are going to be on the prowl in some establishments that serve adult refreshments, a little rowdiness and bloodshed is going to break out.

And I see that the Vikings are "bringing tailgating back to Vikings fans." I can't believe that the Zombies and Pirates ever let them take it away.

I think what knowing that semi-responsible adults like to dress go out dressed as Pirates and Zombies means is that the Minnesota Winter is reaaaaallly long.

Who do you think would win a Zombie v. Pirate fight? I'm unaware of any reference on the potential engagements other than the ongoing chronicles of Cap'n Jack Sparrow. And those don't seem to be historically accurate for some reason.

And in other zombie news, ESPN reports that the body of George Gip aka "The Gipper" was exhumed for a DNA sample. ESPN even filmed the event. While relatives claim it's for "personal family matters," it's really for Notre Dame to begin cloning it's own George Gip Zombie Football Team in an effort to salvage the year and become bowl eligible. I gotta think brain eating will draw a 15 yard penalty even in college.