Working at the Car Wash

I have a confession. I hate washing my car. First, I own no Automotive detailing supplies. No chamois, no bucket, no hose with one of those swell sprayers on the end, no magic wax buffing gloves. Nothing.

Second, because I've got a cloth top convertible, I can't go to one of those drive through car washes. Which means I have to miss out on all the people who forget to roll up their windows or close their sun roof. And I love stuff like that.

So when I finally break down for a wash, I've got to go to one of those crummy coin operated joints where they specifically set the timer so it's impossible to finish your wash unless you're on uppers.

Third, the folks who invented the timed car wash are geniuses. They know it takes you 8 minutes to wash your car. And they know that they're only going to give you 5 minutes for $1.25. And they know once they screw you and you're not done, you've got to pop for the extra cycle.

So you're standing there with the magic wand in your hand and two minutes left and you're going to opt for the Hot Wax. No one knows what this does. There's really just two settings in the machine: Soap and No Soap. Anything else you put on doesn't do a thing. The last one I went to must have had about jillion settings: Pre-wash, Wash, Scrub, Brush Scrub, Soak, Rinse, Hot Wax, Re-Soak, Undercoating, Remove Paint and Remove Toes in Flip Flops.

The one good thing about car washes is that it gets you out of charitable donations. Because anyone who comes to my door gets told, "I only give to sick kids and cheerleader car washes."

Go team.

Anyone really like washing their car? Except for that part when you get to spray someone else and get them all wet of course.