I apologize in advance for my descent in the mad vortex that is my darker half. Why did a hell trip to Boston evoke this?
I'm trying to put the dark thoughts out of my head without actually drilling a hole in my skull. So many bad ideas, but I think the one I like the best is rearranging all the strollers at Disneyland that are parked outside the rides. Imagine the chaos.
Or a stuffed albino alligator for the Thanksgiving centerpiece.
How about sending a copy of Enhance Your Self Esteem to Terrell Owens?
Matlock videos to John McCain?
Yeah, I didn't say they made sense. I just said they were evil.
Anyhoo, it was with slightly less evil inside of me that I drove to work today. That's before I saw the saccharine sweet couple driving next to me. She was feeding him fruit while they drove. With her fingers. Then they'd kiss at the stop lights.
Which is when they finally saw me sticking my finger down my throat and making gagging faces.
Of course if I could get the Wife to feed me bacon while driving to work, I'd totally be in for the carpool all of a sudden.