Friday, August 22, 2008

Reason #623 to Love Utah

Reason #623 to Love Utah


Sex scandals with the grocery clerks.

Except she's 39 and the two men involved are 15. I think this may be the plot of a porno movie. Except they clean pools instead of bag groceries.


Even better, this is right around the corner from my house. Why do I think there are going to be a lot of men in the produce aisles next time I go shopping?

What are the Top Ten Pick Up Lines Used on Grocery
Clerks? You knew it would get to this, didn't you...

10) I've got a double bagger for you.

9) How'd you like to help me clean up in aisle 7?

8) Let's go warm up the meat locker.

7) Can you help me scan my zipper?

6) You don't need a membership card to save on these.

5) I've always wanted to do it on the check out conveyor belt.

4) That smock makes you look really hot.

3) Is that an inventory scanner in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

2) Let's "Go Krogering" in the break room with the lights off.

1) Paper, plastic or latex?

Who knew the grocery store was such a cesspool of human lust? Probably anyone who'd ever been in line that long and was forced to read the Cosmo in the impulse item section.

4 comments:

Roxrocks said...

I wonder how those boys feel being called "victims"?

I mean they ARE victims. Of a cougar attack!

Hey, wait. I'm 39. Did you post this to make me feel better about my own self? :)

[F]oxymoron said...

roxrocks has it right... those boys, if the cougar remotely resembles 39 yr old Jennifer Aniston, are living it up!

kitkat said...

"Is that a pricing gun in your pocket or you just happy to see me?"

As if being 39 and working at a grocery store wasn't bad enough!

lostinutah said...

Utah is weird weird weird.