Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Hey Aqualung

I don't know how I managed it, but I'm sickly. Yes, somehow in the middle of the desert, I've got a head cold with a runny nose that makes me look approximately like a glazed donut. I apologize to anyone who is attempting to eat a glazed donut this morning.

Luckily, I believe in better living through chemistry. So I'm hepped up on enough cold meds to stun a small elephant.

Let's see, currently we're mainlining Vick's Non-Drowsy DayQuil, Afrin Nasal Spray, Sugar Free Cherry Flavor Cold-Eeze, Lemon Lime Airborne, Echinacea (I have no idea if that's spelled correctly and I'm too sluggish right now to bother to look) and some bacon just to be on the safe side. I try to take just enough of the plethora of meds that it feels like that cute little gecko from the auto insurance commercials is taking some laps in my nasal cavities.

Despite my shotgun style approach to nasal congestion, I'm still runny enough to have some fun in the morning.

While dressing for work (hey, I'm a gamer. And I want to infect as many co-workers as possible to get back at the sonofabitch who gave this to me), I had to sneeze. Now I could tell this was going to be a biggie. Sometimes, you just know. Unfortunately, I was too far away from the bathroom to grab a tissue or even some toilet paper.

Sneezing quite forcefully, I involuntarily swung my hand up to about waist high. And caught a wad of mucus about the size of a quarter that had just left my nose.

Yes, I am a Snot Jedi.

Now I've got to go sneeze on some telephone handsets and lick a few keyboards to see if I can bring this department to its knees.

7 comments:

[F]oxymoron said...

May the S[NOT] be with you!

Roxrocks said...

Did you pee your pants? Because THAT'S how I measure MY sneezes!

Feel better Tito. D'y'all have Buckley's down there? It tastes like shit, but it works.

Skyzi said...

The snot that goes around comes around.

I have to go clean my headset now...the weirdo down the hall has been sick...

Kate said...

Um. I got a little gaggy in my mouth when I read that. Sickness, man.

Meg said...

Yuck. Reading that made me green around the gills.

Wicked H said...

You are a SICK man.

Literally and figuratively!

Dani said...

Barf... I mean... sneeze.

This was a little too graphic for me... but good on you catching your own snot... or something....