If that doesn't sober you up enough, go get your Birthday Astrology. Because that stuff really works. "Mercury is conjunct Venus, and both are in hard aspect to Pluto and Uranus, in your Solar Return chart."
Umm, I'm pretty sure I don't want any hard aspect to my Uranus. Kids, we can't make up stuff this goofy.
But the most important thing is that even if you look like hell in that harsh bathroom lighting, at least your kitty doesn't look like Yoda.
Because it's all about the kitties, all the time.