Thursday, July 10, 2008

Batdance or Batusi?

In Norwich, England, 19 year old Abbie Hawkins discovered a bat in her bra. This is not made up. Bonus points to The Telegraph for featuring a gratuitous photo of a young lady in a bra with a fake bat.

Anyhoo, Abbie thought the vibrating she felt in her clothes was just her phone. Hmm, the women I know who are used to feeling a vibration, don't mistake it for their phone. Abbie went to work at 7:30 and didn't discover the bat until around noon! Apparently, that vibration had been going on for quite some time. If you find a bat in your bra, does that make you...wait for it....a B cup?

Abbie finally investigated in her snugglepuppy holder and discovered the tiny bat while she was at work at the Holiday Inn Norwich North. And the hotel GM set the bat free in the garden. While I do not often encounter the Holiday Inn in Norwich North during my business travels, I would check for bats very carefully before I got into bed or hopped on any treadmills in that hotel.

Now I have experienced a bat in my house (though not my bra) and that particular interloper was not set free. He was rather served with a tennis raquet out the door. An ace from which he did not recover.

I'm very amazed that young Abbie had the presence of mind to capture the bat alive. If I had been forced to investigate a vibrating undergarment and found vermin therein, the reaction would have been decidedly more active and vocal. And fecal.

If Abbie just went with the Cleavacious, she could have probably have just released the bat naturally.

The Telegraph does refer to this as a Bat Bra. Now, I'm no comic book geek, but wouldn't Batgirl have the Bat Bra? Or wouldn't the Bat Bra be what Batman used to capture his arch nemesis? You know, the Jiggler.

Yes, that was an extremely long way to go for a cheap boob joke. Mea culpa.

But the moral of the story kids is best expressed by Abbie. "I will certainly be checking my bras every morning from now on." And ladies, I'm sure there are plenty of men out there who not only will rescue you, but will willingly inspect your bra for vermin if you just ask nicely. And if you can't find a full fledged VIP (Vermin Inspection Patrol), it's probably best to be on the safe side. Never, ever wear an uninspected bra. Better safe than sorry.

Now rock out to the hardest working band in Guitar Hero Aerosmith, Commando Nipples.


Sleepless in Seattle said...

Cleavacious should hire you as their spokesperson.

How could you not notice a bat in your bra! And if you thought it was your phone, why didn't you answer it... Hey a bat-phone.

I'm just winging it now.

kris said...

Was the interloper named "Bat Benatar"?

Because at no time do I think he asked to be hit with your best shot.


heartinhand said...

She probably set it free in a place she could find it later so she could bring him back home and keep him in her underwear drawer.

What I want to know is where she was keeping her bra before the bat got into it? Was it hanging in a belfry?

Also, her bra must be very ill fitted if she can hold a whole bat in it without noticing!

Oh, this whole post has my tits in a twist!

Reigning Frog said...

Maybe that's Victoria's secret... Naomi Campbell has always been good at drawing blood.

Skyzi said...

If it took her that long to find a bat in her bra just imagine what she has lurking in those panties of hers!

kitkat said...

He was rather served with a tennis raquet out the door.

The Great Outdoors anyone?

That must have been a ridiculously small bat (perhaps not a bat but a moth?) or a ridiculously-poorly-fitting bra.

Onknees (not_onknees at the moment) said...

Does Olga the traveling Bra have these issues?