Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Rocky Mountain High

This never happened. As far as you know.

So whilst the Wife and I were in Aspen, we took public transportation everywhere. Because not only am I all about the environment, but there's actually no place to park in Aspen. At all. There's actually a gigantic dome at the end of the city and no cars are allowed inside. It's just like in the Simpsons movie. Which is even rendered more magnificent when you drive by the Aspen Airport and see all the private jets that are parked there. Right before they head off to the their St. Barts villa rentals. I always forget how private jets run on magic fairy dust and have no carbon footprint.

Anyhoo as we were walking in an altitude that is so high it actually contains no oxygen at all, I notice a black Hummer has somehow slipped through the security grid and is being allowed to roam the streets of Aspen. Because I live on Snark street, I couldn't let it go.

I notice the little blond "niece" has the window down.

"What's it like to hate the environment?" I opined.

This obviously hit a little too close to home because she turned bright red and just stammered. Before I could follow up with a comment about which double jointed sexual position she had to master to earn that car from her octogenarian patron, the light changed and she drove off.

This story is a lot funnier if that same little blond girl isn't the hostess at the restaurant you walk to.


Sleepless in Seattle said...

Sometimes you get what you deserve.

Snark St?... Perfect!

Roxrocks said...

I live on Bitch Boulevard, so I can totally relate to the whole "open mouth insert foot" thing you got going on.

Skyzi said...

Did you notice how your food kind of smelled funny?!?