Friday, July 25, 2008

Little GTO

Here's a headline I didn't think I'd see today:

Dr. Adam Hansen took a picture of strip club owner Sean Dubowik's penis during a gall bladder operations. It seems that seeing the words Hot Rod tattooed on Dubo's ding dong was too much to resist. Apparently, Hot Rod Sean got the tattoo as part of a $1000 bet. Classy.

How much would it take for someone to shove needles into your penis? Let's just say it's probably more than $1000. And I've have gone with something clever like:
  • Insert Tab A Into Slot B
  • A lightning bolt
  • Monica Was Here
  • Don't Tread on Me
  • This End Very Up
  • Yes, I'll Respect You Even More
  • Don't Pull on My Hips, I Know What I'm Doing.
But the quote of the story has to be:

"I feel violated, betrayed and disgusted," Dubowik said."

And I think we all know how much it must take to get a strip club owner to feel disgusted.

Now I'm not going to defend Dr. Hansen for taking a patient pee pee picture. That's preposterous. But if you've got a tattoo on your penis that says Hot Rod, you might not get up on your moral high horse in indignation. In fact, I'm willing to bet another $1000 that Sean has used the line, "Want to go for a ride on my hot rod?" on more than one occasion.

It's not a privacy issue though. There could be tons of people with penis tattoos that say Hot Rod out there.
Actually, it doesn't say Hot Rod. It says How Do You Like Alex Rodriguez Now Madonna? But, you know, he was sedated at the time.

And if these kind of shenanigans and hi jinx are going on at the Mayo Clinic, what do you think happens at the Hollywood Upstairs Medical College where you have to go because of your crummy health insurance?

Just remember when you get a tattoo on your hoohah, it might wind up on the interwebs.

So start practicing on your indignation, violation, betrayal and disgust looks in the mirror. Because you know this is going to result in a great big lawsuit.

And while I'm sure there's nothing that could be done to compensate my client, I do know that the only method you have to make him whole is to give him 4.6 million dollars in compensatory damages. Bless you, Cirroc.


Roxrocks said...

What a tragic story of humiliation! His peener is so short he could only write Hot Rod on it? If I ever decided I wanted a tatted peener, I would scope out the tattoo shops and ask if anyone has ever had Supercalafragalisticexpialidocious tattooed on theirs. That would be the one I was looking for.

I'm sick that way.

Skyzi said...

I'm not even going to tell you what I have tattooed on my ass.

dunebuggy said...

How about an arrow and capitol N, so it looks like a compass, when it's pointing magnetic north.

Dani said...

I'm ignoring the "hip pulling" comment and moving right along.

I think it's safe to say you scared me out of my (potential) nose job for fear of what pictures could end up on the internet. Dammit.