Me: We're going out to dinner before the show?
Wife: Where are we going?
Me: A Greek place, but you won't need a passport. It's downtown -- Astra's.
Me: Who names a restaurant Asses?
Wife: You said it was Greek.
Me: If I drop my wallet, I'll kick it to the door before I try to pick it up.
Wife: Will the plates be brown?
Me: No, but I'll bet the chairs are really uncomfortable.
Wife: I wonder if the dress code allows chaps.
Me: Only ass-less chaps.
Wife: I just hope Asses sells shirts.
Me: It'll be like Hooters but just the opposite.
Wife: I'm ordering the butt steak.
Me: Extra juicy.