Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Ain't No Mountains High Enough

In Germany, an American woman hiking in the Alps was stranded for three days when she fell off a ledge. Despite five helicopters and 80 emergency workers searching for her, Jessica Bruinsma wasn't rescued until she took matters into her own hands. How did she finally get rescued? Simple. She took off her bra.

Seriously, Ms. Bruinsma attached her sports bra to a cable used to move timber on the mountain. When the cable was finally operated, her bra rode the cable down the mountain where it was spotted by an alert lumberjack. Ms. Bruinsma would have been rescued sooner, but the lumberjacks were wolf-whistling and cat calling at the cable for several hours before they realized the cable would not, in fact, be showing them any more skin.

Just think if she'd have been wearing a Cleavacious bra. She'd have had lumberjacks, the German Air Force and the Greater Swiss Mountain Dog Rescue Squad there to help her.

The moral of the story: If you take your bra off, a man will soon be there to help you out of any situation. We're extremely helpful that way.

9 comments:

Dani said...

Thank you for this oh so useful piece of advice!

However, this means I will always have to be wearing a bra in order to take it off... right?

kris said...

Leave it to a woman to pull this off. Truth be told, if I had seen a jock strap come down that mountain, I would have left the poor chap up there to die. But I would have blogged about it, of course.

Sleepless in Seattle said...

Now I've got that song stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

Could be worse...

My girls are going to camp next week, I'll make sure they pack an extra bra for an emergency. Forget the extra batteries.

Skyzi said...

The only reason I wear a bra and underwear when I leave the house is the thought of "what if I get into an accident and have to interact with people".

The idea of having to take them off in order to be rescued scares me.

t2ed said...

I think I'm going to start wearing a bra. Just so I can take it off and ensure a rescue by some man I've hoodwinked if ever stranded somewhere.

dunebuggy said...

Ok, I am totally giggling. The thought of you wearing a bra!

Would cleavacious make a special "rescue" bra just for you or other men? Would it have a hunter orange lining, or maybe reflective tape?

What would your wife think?

If you want to get rescued by a woman, there are other articles of clothing you could remove that might be effective.

Still giggling!

heartinhand said...

Apparently, this is what I should have done the day I was stranded in my car down town!

GreenCanary said...

*laughing at kris' comment*

Reigning Frog said...

When we get our first training bra, we are told of the magical, mystical powers they give us. But this is taking it to new heights.