Rocking in Fiji

While vacationing in Fiji, Keith Richards fell out of a tree and suffered a mild concussion. Some reports are indicating that he actually fell from a palm tree then was on a jet ski and had another accident before someone finally realized they need to take him to a hospital for observation.

I can understand that, because if Keith had a concussion, you probably wouldn't be able to tell he's acting any differently. Unfocused eyes, check. Random words and phrases, check. Appears tired and groggy, check. I mean, that's Keith, not a head trauma victim. They're going to need the guy from House to diagnose this illness. That doc is Hugh Laurie by the way and he was much funnier in Blackadder, but I digress.

Doctors in Fiji did say that Keith's head was flattened, flattened, shadoobie, shadoobie. I can't believe I can't come up with more Stones lyrics for this. Maybe he'll need an Angie-oplasty. Wow, that's smelly. At least he didn't try jumping, Jack Flash, from that tree. That's got to be some of my lamest work with rock lyrics ever. My genius obviously just runs to bad 80's bands.

I always thought a Rolling Stone gathered no moss. Although now I can use if a Rolling Stone falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make any noise?

Doctors did say as soon as Richards looked terrible, they released him from the hospital.