It's a Sure Thing

Fast Company did a great article on the Five Most Common Lies in Business.

Briefly they are:

• People are our most important asset.
• This was a rational decision.
• We judge people by their performance.
• This is business, it isn't personal.
• The customer comes first.

I've actually had a VP use that first one in a speech. But it was a joke from Scott Adams. Actually people are our 8th most important asset. Right behind carbon paper.

What got me started thinking about the insanities of wage earning in the corporate world was a buddy of mine who reminded me of something I did a long time ago.

Because we're getting a new boss, we have to prepare something called a People Awareness Template. You have to fill out a form about yourself telling some weasel what you do. There's no way a boss would actually walk around and talk to people several levels below them. And they request pictures for the form. You can't tell the players without a program, I guess. And it's not like we're providing glossy 8 by 10 glamour shots here. It's just some little square in a box in the top right corner of the form. Like a passport photo.

Yes, it's demeaning. Yes, it's dehumanizing. Yes, it's disrespectful. And I wasn't going to take it anymore.

Several years ago I got this type of request for a new boss several levels above me, I filled out the form with my current role (several jobs ago in the same organization) and attached a picture of John Cusack.

No one ever said a word.

I'm guessing no one even looked at it because I'm such a lowly drone. But I secretly hope there's an executive somewhere who thinks that guy from The Sure Thing works for him.

Who am I kidding? None of our executives is cool enough to have seen that movie.