Hard rocker, Keith Richards required brain surgery to remove a blood clot that received after falling out of a palm tree while vacationing in Fiji.
This surgery typically involves a doctor drilling a hole into the skull to remove the blood clot. Giving his prediliction for self-medication, I'm guessing Keith needed that surgery like he needed a hole in the head. Wait a minute, I've confused myself now.
Keith was up and talking after surgery and reportedly back to his old incoherent self. Keith was so confused immediately after the operation that he could only stumble through the lyrics to Little TA. So it was just like being at a live show.
How will anyone be able to tell if the surgery is a success? Richard is reportedly making a speedy recovery. Or perhaps a recovery with speed.
When Richards was more lucid, no one was able to tell. His publicist did issue the following statement:
Mr. Richards will not fade away. He is happy but has mixed emotions about his emotional rescue. There is no truth to the rumor that this is Mr. Richards' 19th nervous breakdown. With the help of some honky tonk women, he'll spend the night together with them and soon be dining at Ruby Tuesday's where he can always get what he wants. His critics may condemn his art as being only rock and roll, but he likes it. Wild horses couldn't keep him away from the Stones' next tour date even if Keith has to sneak in undercover of the night.
Richards is expected to be back up and around mumbling incoherently, engaging in bizarre acts of behavior and looking incredibly craggy in a few weeks.
Look how cool cigarettes make you look, kids.