Get ready, swabbies.
The best day of the year is coming in less than 5 days. Yes, it's almost time for International Talk Like a Pirate Day again. Wow, time flies when you drink all that rum and do all that wenching.
So put down that cabinet hardware and grab your cutlass and buckle your swashes. What is a swash anyway and how does it keep coming unbuckled anyway?
And while I'll be celebrating TLAPD with an Errol Flynn double feature of Against All Flags and Captain Blood and making the Wife slowly go nuts by repeating "Arrrrrr" all day, here's how other celebrities will be celebrating the day.
Lindsay Lohan: Long John Silver's carryout and rehab sex
Tom Cruise: Dressing up like Horatio Nelson
Keith Richards: Drinking rum and incoherency
Keira Knightley: Splurge with an entire bean for dinner
Orlando Bloom: Admiring self in mirror
Johnny Depp: Not showering
Bill Nighy: No such person exists; he is just a special effect
George W. Bush: Ordering the Black Pearl deployed to the Persian Gulf
Geraldo Rivera: Special Investigative Report live from Pittsburgh
Enjoy the day, kids.