Tuesday, September 11, 2007

You Take the Notre, I'll Take the Dame

College football season is finally upon us. I don't count that first week because none of the games count as they're all just blow outs. Unless you go to Michigan. Then it's something you'll just agree to never talk about ever again. And you'll never vacation in the Appalachian Mountains.

But if you encounter someone in a bar and he's wearing a t-shirt of the rival school, you don't need to tear his scrotum off. Yes, I'm talking to you Deacon Allen Beckett. Apparently, the Deacon (who is an Oklahoma Sooner fan) got into a bit of a scrap with Brian Thomas (the scrotee) who was wearing a University of Texas shirt.

Quote of the story: "The police report described what happened to the victim, including graphic details about his injuries that included a torn scrotal sack with partially exposed testicles."

The Deacon's attorney said ole Deke isn't even a die hard fan. Can you imagine what he'd had done if he was a big fan? Things might have gotten out of hand. Or maybe that's in hand. I wonder if either of these guys owns the official collegiate wall sconce for his school? I'll bet the scrotee won't be wearing those baggy cargo shorts anymore. Of course, he may not be able to now. He'll probably have to go with Capri pants from now on.

If you're scoring along at home, that does count as a sack for Texas. No word on whether the Deke did a little dance after the incident.

And remember, if a testicle goes into the crowd, it's yours to keep.

3 comments:

kitkat said...

I'm afraid to read the official story after reading your summary of it. Partially exposed testicles? That's definitely the most heinous thing I've heard in a while.

I don't get the crazy, die hard college football fans. Especially those ones in the South. Holy cow, do they love them some rivalries. People who didn't even go to a college find themselves willing to rip out each other's testicles. It's madness.

Wicked H said...

Great Balls of Fire. Those would be about the only kind I would take home with me.(Medical field, pretty much seen it all....)

Reigning Frog said...

Can you sell autographed testicles on eBay?