More Kid Hijinx

Wife and I went to the zoo on Friday. And while she remembered it nostalgically from her childhood, it paled in comparison when viewed from reality. The penguins didn't swim as much, the polar bears were standoffish and not as cuddly as before and monkeys failed to fling any poo at all.

The trip did, however, provide the opportunity for further interaction with the wee folk.

Many parents seem to be sending their precious tots to day camps. This is presumably to ensure that no time is actually spent in their presence. Once at the alleged camp, they are given matching shirts of a garish color. This, like for inmates, is only for identification purposes if they try to make a break for it. No thought is given to sizing requirements. This may also have the benefit of making it impossible to actually run if your shirt hangs down to your Keds.

Unfortunately, these camps are seriously understaffed. There is no way that two surly college girls (who are just trying to get 3 crummy credits for crying out loud) are a match for 18 children. Even the tactic of forcing all children to hold hands all the time so as to blockade entire sections of the animal kingdom doesn't work. Yes, it is appropriate for the entire group to "EWWWWW" as loud as possible in the event any animal relieves himself in your presence.


We also got to practice some new sayings with our newfound friends:

• "Don't talk to strangers!"
• "Careful. That's his flinging hand."
• "I heard last week he ate a kid."
• "Wow. It was so cool when that bear was dancing. Too bad he just stopped."
• "If you stay here long enough, they'll eventually let you pet the lion."
• Careful, that's his flinging hand.

I would also like to point out that when we encountered a group of special kids, I was immediately waved at. Wife commented they obviously recognized one of their own. And while I was tempted to join hands and make some new friends, I don't think I would have been able to convince the handlers that I was a voluntary member at the end of the day.

It was also espeically humorous to hear one kid say out loud, "What up, llama?"

I don't know if he expected a response but I wish I was a ventriloquist because I'd have made the miming llama say, "Nada, Holmes." And I know this future Nasa scientist would have completely fallen for it. Because he also said, "Look, Dad. That llama has a pricetag." Only $19.95 if you want to take him home.

What up, llama is the new catch phrase sweeping the nation by the way. All the cool kids are doing it.