Monday, June 19, 2006

Holy Belief System, Batman!

I don't know why I've been on a superhero topic kick lately. Probably because it's so stupid. Or the Xmen having their movie out. Or because they're showing Spiderman 2: Revenge of the Man Teats endlessly on cable right now.

And just one quick derailment here. Why is it the Xmen? They've got women in the group. It should be the Xpeople. Or Xtraneous characters. Or Xcramentos if they move to California. Or Xtravagants if they buy things from Sharper Image. Okay, I'll knock it off already.

But if you find yourself wondering what religion your favorite superhero is? You need to find a tall, tall building, my friend.

Superman is not Jesus. Even if his Father did send him to Earth to fight for truth, justice and the American Way. Supes doesn't have either the beard or the abs to be Jesus. That Jesus had some abs I'm telling you.

And where are Superman's disciples. He's got Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen and I'll toss in his editor Perry White. That leaves him short nine people. He's not Jesus.

What is the American Way? Missionary?

Oh yeah, I know I'm going to hell. But Hell Boy will be right there with me. Bless you Ron Perlman for your ability to emote under makeup. Now get back into the sewers.


Elsa said...

What is it with people trying to find a religious or family value conotation to everything. I understand it when they do this with The Passion, but not with the Penguin movie or Superman.

I'm going to come out with my own Superheroes. They'll be specifically for the Agnostics, Secularists and Sinners. So, of course, they'll have ASS on their chest.

Elsa said...

I thought of a better Superhero for Agnostics/Atheists:


So, this Superhero would have SMAHT across his chest - so obviously, he is from Boston or Cambridge. And, instead of leotards, he would wear pants.

"Pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd, Mr. SMAHTie Pants."

t2ed said...

I just saw Lewis Black on HBO. He was explaining that he didn't have the belief in the Old Testament that the earth was created in 7 days because he had something else...thoughts.

I can easily see a great marketing tie in between SMAHT man and the Smartees candy people.

Elsa said...

I just saw Lewis Black, too, on HBO. He is a riot...and speaks MANY truths!

I saw him in Boston a year or so ago and he was VERY GOOD. I love his segments on The Daily Show.

Couldn't resist said...

Elsa, why don't you combine your ideas and have SMAHT ASS?