Bang Up Puppy Chow

I don't know why I love bad business moves so much. Maybe it's my role with marketing and public relations. Maybe it's just schadenfreude. That's kraut talk for taking great joy in the misfortunes of others. As Homer Simpson said, "It's funny because I don't know him." It's probably the same reason all those trauma to the groin videos always win the 10 large.

Anyway Disney has a brand of dog food called Old Yeller. You may see it if you go Krogering as that's where Disney was test marketing this stuff.

Doesn't anyone have a problem with this? I hope I'm not giving away anything here, but this is one of the saddest movies ever. Old Yeller dies at the end. It makes everyone cry. And he doesn't just die any old way. He gets rabies and has to be shot. By the little kid who owns him! So I guess Old Yeller brand dog food is the food you'd choose if you want your son to eventually have to shoot his puppy.

Amazingly, though this product works. People are buying the it like crazy and it's Kroger's best selling dog food.

They also have a Pirates of the Caribbean aquarium. Don't take any of the gold out of the little chest at the bottom or you'll be cursed.

So of course this got me thinking about other possible Disney product tie in's:

• Sleeping Beauty Sleeping Pills (slogan: You won't wake up until your Prince comes)
• Cruella Deville Dog Crates
• Pinocchio's Rhynoplasty
• A.J. Arno Business Consulting Services
• Jiminy Cricket's Bug-B-Gon
• Big Bad Wolf Air Freshener/Leaf Blower
• Winnie the Pooh Honey (when you want to get stuck in a hole)
• Herbie the Love Bug Motor Oil (for the car that controls you)
• Peter Pan Wine (when you want to feel like you're flying)
• Maleficent's Down Home Apple Pie
• Tramp's Flea Collar

I'm sure there have to be some others. Feel free to play along at home, kids.