In case you really believe the stink we make about airport security is actually working, I submit the following.
The Tallahassee Regional Airport was closed because of a bomb scare. What looked so much like a bomb that someone had to be detained for 5 hours? It was a jar of Tupelo honey, butt rub, an oyster shell and a digital recorder.
In a complete aside, doesn't Tupelo Honey sound like a good name for an exotic dancer?
Butt rub isn't what you'd pay Tupelo Honey to do in the Champagne Room. It's a concoction of spices that you rub into pork to make it taste better. Specifically it was Bad Byron's Butt Rub.
And I'm sure that Byron had some difficulty acquiring the domain name buttrub.com.
Now I'm no explosives expert, but who is using oyster shells in their incendiary devices? Are we at war with Atlantis and no one told me? I know Aquaman is fighting crime and all, but I thought he had our hands full above the water right now.