Sure he may look like a mild-manned pizza delivery guy who is forced to dress up in a stupid outfit to deliver pies for the evil overlords who run Galactic Pizza.
He may look like an average citizen who just happens to be stuck wearing a beige leotard, tights, boots and a cape. But he's not. He actually foiled a cowardly criminal's attempted purse swiping.
Sure he needed two other citizens to help him. And the criminal got away. And Cameron revealed his secret identity. That doesn't make it any less super.
If Cameron does this again he might want to think about the purse snatcher being armed. Or bigger than him. Or not being dressed in a fey-looking cape. But it's super goddammit!
So I've dubbed Cameron as Pizza Protector. Unfortunately, this sounds a bit like he's that plastic, lifter thing with three legs they put in the middle of your pizza so the box top doesn't get cheese all over the it. So I'm open to suggestions as to better names.
But you just knew I'd be all about the powers, didn't you? Here are the powers Pizza Protector (or whatever he'll eventually be known as) would have to have:
- Makes change instantly
- Magically adds or removes toppings from order mistakes
- Bad skin
- Time Travel (to make up for slow delivery times, getting lost and getting baked)
- Flight (for when his car gets stolen)
- Pepperoni grease proof supersuit
- Minty fresh breath impervious to anchovy smells
- Inability to get laid
- Super Surliness
- Able to inflict Soggy Crust Curse on bad tippers
- Mental telepathy allows him to deliver pizza before you actually order it
Feel free to add any, kids.