Friday, June 13, 2008

Meaty Beaty Big And Bouncy

Reason #421 to Love Utah

Our festivals. For testicles.

Yes, in Woodruff, Utah it was the 8th Annual Testicle Festival. Specifically from bull bits. Rocky Mountain Oysters. Swinging beef.

My favorite part of the story:

"Some people have trouble with them," says Lori Cornia, a festival volunteer, adding that it is no different than eating other beef parts such as the tongue, heart or liver."

No offense, Lori, but those are the parts we call "disgusting." That's why we avoid them. Like the plague. And hackneyed cliches. Now I've never had testes in my mouth because I don't swing that way and I'm not that flexible. So I won't judge all the interns from out of state that the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources sent out to the festival. I'm sure it's not just some elaborate prank that we play on the rubes from Wisconsin and New York City.

But some 250 pounds of lamb fries were purchased from a Salt Lake meat packing plant for the festival. So we need to thank these nutty folks who consumed all those deep fried, succulent scroti. Because if they hadn't eaten them, you know those were going in to hot dogs.

Personally, if you're going to have a Testicle Festival, I think it ought to be held at Ball State University.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Puke, puke, pukity puke!

Dani said...

God I love living in Utah... Although... I was surprised to not see a piece on your blog about how Kanab is outlawing the bikini...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25114566/?GT1=43001

Anonymous said...

The Tribune article is hilarious. My favorite parts:

"The cowboy caviar is part of the "Sack Lunch Special" "

"It was considered a treat, since they only got it once a year," said Cornia. "Of course, you probably wouldn't want to eat it more than that."

The second quote cracks me up because you can relate it other things couples might do for each other, where one thinks it's so special it's only once a year.

Maybe that's why the lady from Sweden "attacked" that poor man... it was that time of the year.

My favorite question from Trivial Pursuit: What do you call a castrated bull?


Lonely. (I'm steering this the wrong way I'm sure.)

I wonder if they did any teabagging at the festival?

I shouldn't poke fun at such a long standing tradition.

Reigning Frog said...

The end of the festivities should be held at my old college campus in Strosacker Auditorium, which we lovingly called "Sackstroker Auditorium."