Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear At Your Prom

I got nothing today, kids. I stayed up too late watching the Dead Things gack up a lead to the Pigpens, so I'm stealing leveraging from Uncle Dave. Suck it, Gonchar. I hope the Pens need medical alert bracelets reading WARNING NO TEETH. At least I'm not bitter about the overtime loss at home.

Anyhoo, here's it is.

TOP TEN THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR AT YOUR PROM

10) "This year's theme -- Midnight at Gitmo."

9. "For tonight I'm not the cafeteria lady, I'm just Kate."

8. "They were out of corsages, so I got you a mustache comb."

7. "Hope you don't mind the costume, but I have Iron Man fever!"

6. "Sorry I'm late. I was at lamaze class."

5. "Help... bow tie... too tight... can't breathe!"

4. "We're cancelling the rest of the prom to give you a taste of the bitter disappointment you'll experience in your adult life."

3. "I spent $400 on the tuxedo, $600 for the limo and $800 for the gasoline. You're putting out all right."

2. "Your carnation really brings out the red in your acne."

1. "Congratulations, Glen -- you're prom queen."